Heidi Klum Dominates Them All

By Bill February 25, 2013 @ 11:40 AM

It took five hours after the Oscars began last night to finally see a worthwhile site, even more thrilling than all the tributes of Hollywood to their dead — Heidi Klum flashing her model makers and dominating every girl who came before her at the Elton John AIDS Foundation afterparty, including Elton John who shrank away at the site of the German model-multimillionaire looking so fucking Valkyrie and chest proud.

Watch as Heidi prances like a peahen, putting fear into the hearts of the smaller, like Miley Cyrus, the smaller and fatter, like The Kardashians, and even some chick whose name we don’t even know.

Heidi Klum dumped Seal, is banging her bodyguard, and made something like 30 million dollars last year. Now, she’s just going to rub it in your face and you will fucking bow down.

Photo credit: Getty

wwtdd

(15) Comments

  1. avatar
    The Crapper 02/25/2013 11:51

    Hey Bill!
    Took the time to sign up today just to let you know that this post reads like you typed it with your elbows.

    I’m glad you all decided to get rid of Brend0n, since his posts were the only thing entertaining about this site. It’s made my decision to stop visiting the site that much easier!

    Best of luck to you in completely misunderstanding what funny means.

  2. avatar
    Bye 02/25/2013 11:59

    This crap is unreadable. I believe I learned the difference between “site” and “sight” in the 3rd grade. The rest is awkward, incoherent and unfunny. Not for nothing, you truly suck.

  3. avatar
    ThePoonTangler 02/25/2013 12:40

    Signed up for the first time today also.

    Bill give it up. No Brendon = no site… or is it “sight”? Who knows, that’s really tough.

    You’re obviously trying much too hard, and your grammar is even worse than Brendon’s ever was.

    I’m going to miss WWTDD, but THIS isn’t WWTDD.

  4. avatar
    IAmOut 02/25/2013 12:48

    That was fucking terrible.

    Bill…go ply in the street.

    I am officially over this SITE.

  5. avatar
    IAmOut 02/25/2013 12:49

    *play

  6. avatar
    Dannyboyeee 02/25/2013 12:50

    I also just signed up to tell you what a horrible, horrible idea this is. Bill, that post was godawful. Just so you know, you can’t make up for having talent and a sense of humor by using the word “fucking” a bunch of times. Can’t wait to see where Brendon ends up, I’m definitely done here.

  7. avatar
    rougeandringlets 02/25/2013 13:04

    I see my comment is going to break ground here when I say: Bill, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?

    The “worthwhile site” error is just too fucking much, because clearly you wouldn’t know one if it slapped you in the face.
    I’m not sure where 8 year long run on sentences that end in “chest proud” (!?) or where disasters like your second paragraph are welcomed, but you should probably go back there immediately.

    Good luck with this revamp Buzzfeed. You are going to need it!

  8. avatar
    thelategreat 02/25/2013 13:14

    I also just signed up. You’re awful and I’m taking this out of my RSS.

  9. avatar
    sofakingawesome 02/25/2013 13:38

    Fuck you bill.

  10. avatar
    Lick-it 02/25/2013 14:22

    This site is now a “sight”…..that being said….Heidi Clum is a sight for sore balls…..

  11. avatar
    Lick-it 02/25/2013 14:24

    she’s just going to rub it in your face and you will fucking bow down.

    …Heidi can rub anything she has into any part of me……but I’d prefer she rub my ball-sac and tip……..

  12. avatar
    Johnny Stoolpigeon 02/25/2013 14:45

    For some unknown reason, America tuned into the Oscars last night while The Walking Dead was on at the same time, this after Daytona had already shown spectacular crashes.

    Speaking of crashes, Klums titties lost to gravity and she wants the world to see

    [quote]
    Heidi Klum, 39, stole the show at the 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Viewing Party on Feb. 24 in a plunging gold Julien Macdonald dress with plenty of cleavage spilling out. Her slicked-back hair and edgy accessories completed the look, but it her two assets out front that had everyone talking!

    Heidi’s gold gown was a bold move for the Project Runway host, especially as the mom to four kids: Leni, 8, Henry, 7, Johan, 6 and Lou, 3. The gold beaded gown fit her supermodel figure perfectly, hugging her curves in all the right places — and showing off her sexy decolletage.
    [/quote]

    I don’t like waiting in line for stuff, tits especially, but if I had to wait in line behind 4 kids that I’m pretty sure I can take on, I ain’t waiting in line for tits that don’e seem to have fared any better than Madonnas.

    PS
    Decolletage? Just say titties. I expect this of GQ, not you some 1st page google search result site that I used to get pics of Heidi

  13. avatar
    thejyav 02/25/2013 14:54

    So the new edgier WWTDD will be without proof reading? Good stuff, It only took a couple extra times to figure out what the hell you were trying to say.

  14. avatar
    Tipped 02/27/2013 19:21

    Run on sentence much? You realize your first paragraph was just one long sentence. Matter a fact there are only 4 fucking sentences in this entire post. Go back to 3rd and learn how to write. You write like a child that’s trying to be funny.

  15. avatar
    Bono is a cunt 03/04/2013 11:54

    She’s too old to be showing mammary.

    She’s a great looking bird but you gotta keep them away over 30.

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