Contrary to Hollywood depiction, being bipolar isn’t all about looking like Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence and learning how to ballroom dance. Nope, sometimes, bipolar is about being found naked on your lawn having sex with your pit bull. In fact, statistically speaking it’s more often the pit bull banging thing than it is getting lucky with Jennifer Lawrence.
A woman in Las Vegas was arrested after police say they caught her having sex with a pit bull in her backyard… Police said when they arrived, the suspect greeted them, declared that she was bipolar, and continued to touch the dog in a sexual manner.
- CBS Las Vegas
Well, yeah, you don’t just bang a pit bull and not do a little stroking in the afterglow. A retriever maybe, but not a canine in the terrier class. Those bastards do not forget.
The cops might have felt more sympathetic had they not been vomiting a little bit in their mouths, so Kara Vandereyk of the 300 block of N. 16th Street, Las Vegas (we include her name and address just in case your find yourself picking her up on a match.com date) was booked on a charges of gross lewdness and the dog was handed over to animal control where it went from topping a human female to being mounted by several, tougher dogs in the animal control penitentiary. Tough turn of the worm for Sparky.