Wussy singer Morrissey cancelled his appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Why? Because he was going to have to share the stage with the yokel superstars from Duck Dynasty. Morrissey is one of those radical vegetarian animal rights guys. The bearded rednecks from Duck Dynasty make duck hunting equipment and the Ex-Smiths singer decided that was too much for him. He called them “Animal serial killers“.
While I could honestly give a flying rat fuck whether or not this mincing limey is on TV, I am pretty sick of these broccoli munchers enforcing their morality on the rest of us. I eat meat. Why? Because it’s fucking delicious and it’s allowed us humans to develop bigger brains than our grass cud chewing competition.
If you want to live off of organic steamed kale, that’s your business. I’m going to eat a chunk of cow that died screaming. If Morissey doesn’t like it, he can come and stop me. Oh wait, he’s too weak from anemia.
Morrissey is awesome
I’d murder my meat more often if you would post fewer homos and more tits….
Beppo….
…see what I did there….?
Duck Dynasty. Fuck, I hate my own country.
agreed joe…though i already said that with Jersey Shore and Honey Boo Boo
“Wussy singer Morrissey cancelled his appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Why? Because he was sick of answering questions about doppelganger Quentin Tarantino; screaming, “with his Oscar, all people want to do is ask me how I feel about the win” as he slammed down the phone.”
I know, may be lame, but at least quicker than three paragraphs, to lead up to an anemic anemia joke. (see what I did there, a play on words, try it some time).
The only thing ‘murdered’ was this blog earlier this week. I hate Morrissey, but I’m not about to flaunt my awesome biceps in support of this now shitty blog.
Dropping multiple F-bombs in a post does not make it more edgy. It is a lazy crutch when you can’t come up with something more witty or cutting.
Only think being murdered in that post was this blog.
The only thing I plan on murdering is some ass, as soon as I pick my step-sister up from her yodeling lessons.
Ahhh, did someone take it to the cheeks? is that why the names came off the post? Your really starting to fuckin piss me off…
Indeed,
Were I still able to maintain an erection, is would gladly taunt him with it.
While there’s a 50/50 shot that Morrissey would get his ass beat by the author of this story, there’s a 100% chance that he’s a better writer than said author.
Bucking frutal! i would rather lose a toe in a freak boating accident than read any more of this shite. I am outta here
ashy_larry,
Godspeed to you my dear, dear friend.
Good luck in your pursuit of ever touching a woman’s breast.
We will keep you in our prayers
“And, yeah, hot girls with tits big enough that you knew even beneath those oversized sweaters back in high school, second base was going to be well worth the effort.”
–FYI, Brendon Takes a ‘Holiday’
Where? Where are they?
Man, I just took a massive shit.
I wish you guys could have been here to see it.
It was a real knot stretcher.
Butt Plug – your mating call has been heard and received. I shall pick up a bottle of the finest merlot a block of American cheese and some gummy bears and be over in 30 minutes.
This might be the worst post so far. You’re doing it wrong.
3/1 says Alicia shops in the plus size section of Fashion Bug.
Doo Doo,
Pick me up on the way. I have a cherished box of Twinkies and a half a bottle of grape-drank that the negroes love so much to throw into the kitty.