Sex Dolls Won’t Really Catch On Til They Look Like This

By Ellis Red February 27, 2013 @ 6:29 PM

I’ve never understood the draw of those faceless sex toys they sell for men to experience the joy of pussy without having to work or pay or beg for it. I understand the appeal of the ease of access, but I’m in the camp that if you don’t care what you’re sticking your dick into so long as you get off, you’re just a hop, skip, and a jump away from being rousted by the cops at a truck stop glory hole.

Sex dolls for the 99-percent won’t catch on until they look and feel like Maria Menounos. Maybe ten years from now, maybe fifty, but at some point, there are going to be warm, comforting, exact replicas of women like Maria who never say they’re too tired or on the rag or that they know you’d rather fuck their sister than them so why not go and do that. At that point, you’re going to want to have your money in the sex doll companies.

Photo credit: WENN/FameFlynet

(35) Comments

  1. avatar
    woody 02/27/2013 22:40


  2. avatar
    Butt Plug 02/27/2013 23:28

    If anyone is looking for me, I will be in my jam-shed.

  3. avatar
    Nostradamus 02/27/2013 23:30

    I can see the future, and this site will suck forever more. Best bet, just re-post old stuff and label it “This day in 2005…” I’d rather re-read the greatest hits than be bored to death by this shit.

  4. avatar
    Pener 02/27/2013 23:56

    I seem to have lost my Butt Plug… Has anyone seen it?

  5. avatar
    mehoffjack 02/28/2013 00:19

    It’s really sad that after following this site for years, I have never really felt compelled to register to comment until now. This site is awful now – not only are the writers not at all funny, they’re annoying and seem like a bunch of disgruntled nerds who have never been laid. What is all this garbage? Won’t be returning.

  6. avatar
    malfunction04 02/28/2013 00:39

    I’ve been following this site since college 2007ish and just thought i’d let you know that I’m removing my bookmark and will never visit the site again. You guys suck balls and your shitty attempt to replace Brendon is a fail. Have fun losing traffic everyday that you post something new.

  7. avatar
    buttermetwice 02/28/2013 01:50

    I have not idea what this article is saying. Absolutely no voice. This website sucks now.

  8. avatar
    NamblaPan 02/28/2013 09:18

    Can we change this Comment section to: leave your Troll Comment below?

  9. avatar
    RangerLG 02/28/2013 10:09

    Wonder what Mikey and Smacko are up to.

  10. avatar
    gnarly 02/28/2013 10:56

    wanna lick the lips that were peaking from her bathing suit

  11. avatar
    SashaAndMaleazDad 02/28/2013 11:02

    Wow – lot of anger here. Send all your discretionary income to Washington. It’s the right thing to do and you will feel better knowing that I’ll give it all away to people who shit on the sidewalk

  12. avatar
    Butt Plug 02/28/2013 11:36

    That’s a good question LG.

    Any of you like fucking?

  13. avatar
    Beppo 02/28/2013 11:40


    If any of you lads are free today, I will give you a nickel to come over to me home and help me unkink my garden hose

  14. avatar
    RangerLG 02/28/2013 11:42

    It may not be the 80′s, but I’m still all about the ladies Plugger.

  15. avatar
    whatswritten 02/28/2013 12:34

    It’s funny that every one of these (awful) new writers is trying to exactly mimic the style of the guy they fired. And failing at it. The irony is palpable. This site is unreadable.

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