Sofia Vergara Still Not Dead

By Bill February 26, 2013 @ 7:34 PM

Reports of Sofia Vergara’s demise have been greatly exaggerated.

When the Colombian Super Fine didn’t show up for The Oscars last night, rumors went flying around that Sofia was gravely ill and even hospitalized. Sofia never misses the chance to show off her big knockers at big events.

Turns out, she had the fucking flu. Or maybe she’s pregnant and pretending to have the flu, like teen girls do in Lifetime movies. Either way, there’s a good chance you’re going to die before Sofia.

wwtdd

(22) Comments

  1. tomatojoe 02/26/2013 19:52

    Cool. Pictures we’ve all seen several times.

  2. Habitual Line Stepper 02/26/2013 19:59

    ‘Turns out, she had the fucking flu. Or maybe she’s pregnant and pretending to have the flu, like teen girls do in Lifetime movies. Either way, there’s a good chance you’re going to die before Sofia.’

    Dear Bill,

    Pro Tip: Make sure to read what you have written before you press ‘Post’ to make sure it is:
    A) Written in English
    B) Has the slightest possibility of being funny
    C) Doesn’t make other feel awkward and sorry for you.
    D) All of the above.

  3. Butt Plug 02/26/2013 20:20

    Poop

  4. I_hate_you_all 02/26/2013 20:27

    This site is terrible now.

    You should all kill yourselves.

  5. ThisSiteIsGayPornography 02/26/2013 20:34

    3rd Picture: Those globes make Kate Upton look like Keira Knightley.

  6. fiddlebom 02/26/2013 20:36

    The Oscars were on Sunday, it’s Tuesday. So, “last night” is wrong again, jackalope.

  7. Stogee 02/26/2013 21:04

    toby, who the fuck is toby??

  8. Toast 02/26/2013 21:06

    You all better shape up. Just got a call from Zombie. He is being released tomorrow. Man is he upset!
    Pottz, he asked about you.

  9. Toast 02/26/2013 21:08

    Toby is a little boy that lives in Brendon’s mouth.

  10. jregal 02/26/2013 21:26

    Bill — This was much better. Concise, short sentences. I’m pulling for you Bill!

  11. Toast 02/26/2013 21:38

    I’m with jregal on this one.
    BTW, jregal, can you pull on this as well?

  12. franklinop 02/26/2013 21:38

    Suck a tail pipe, Bill

  13. Habitual Line Stepper 02/26/2013 22:03

    jregal … are you pullin’ for him like teen girls do in Lifetime movies?

    Just wondering.

  14. LuckyBastard 02/26/2013 22:09

    I knew when Brendon sold out this site was going in the dumper, now it’s in the recycle bin…..

  15. Butt Plug 02/26/2013 22:33

    Vengeance has come, loosers!

  16. TheRealMcCoy 02/26/2013 22:45

    Brendon’s wonderful twitter account: https://twitter.com/bearsaremean

  17. gkline 02/26/2013 23:38

    Still going for quantity over quality.

  18. EeetaDick 02/26/2013 23:43

    It used to be that the window-licking retards complained about this site.

    Now they’re trying to write it.

    Unfunny tools.

  19. Shank Peters 02/26/2013 23:49

    This sight is as useless as a fucking Kardashian…. ohh wait BuzzMedia Publishes those sights as well….

  20. Burbank 02/27/2013 00:37

    Huh, is “Bill” the same asshole Web fuck who is screwing up my company’s site with lame posts? Just curious, because I just can’t believe there are TWO of these guys…

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