Why Didn’t This Work For Jessica Simpson?

By Mystery Writer February 06, 2013 @ 9:11 AM


Oh, that’s right, swallowing. Maybe Danish fashion model – and newest Carl’s Jr. chick – Nina Agdal up there could help Jessica out. If she’s smart, she won’t mention that thing about being Danish unless she’s ready for Eric Johnson to shove her into Jessica’s mouth.

- MW (This means “Not Brendon.” There’s going to be more of these cryptic initials and/or awful pen names on here regularly now, but tits.)

(Image Source – Splash News)


(12) Comments

  1. Buck614 02/06/2013 09:28

    At least we are getting updates.

  2. Buck614 02/06/2013 09:29

    MW = mark wahlberg

  3. Mystery Writer 02/06/2013 09:46

    Say hello to your mother for me.

  4. Mr. Bones 02/06/2013 10:29

    hopefully br3ndon went and killed himself. This site sucks, and your new writers suck.

  5. TheBlackReturns 02/06/2013 10:40

    This chick is brutal looking.

  6. SpaceMonkey 02/06/2013 10:47

    I guess we are just supposed to forget how much this site has sucked and continues to suck because you write ‘tits’ at the end of each story. Douche.

  7. slice 02/06/2013 10:57

    These posts are a fucking joke. Just don’t post anything. Nothing is better than these terrible excuses for humour. Just fuck off and take the site down instead of embarrassing yourself.

  8. Admiral 02/06/2013 11:00

    This girl should get a medal for being so hot – it would play out like the end scene in Star Wars, except way sexier. Chloe Kardashian, playing the Wookie, gets no medal.

  9. dj queef 02/06/2013 11:13

    wwtdd.com rip

  10. Squabbler 02/06/2013 13:59

    She has to be wearing some kind of pussy pastie to keep from showing her cameltoe in those spread legged pics. There’s no way you could pull a wet bikini that tight and not at least some crease.

  11. SyntheticFriday 02/06/2013 14:07

    You could randomly pull words out of a hat and form a more coherent story than whatever the f you are talking about in this post.

  12. ThisSiteIsGayPornography 02/07/2013 13:23

    Nice underboob. I thought this was a site for gay men who don’t enjoy humor, that’s why I’ve been coming here for the last year.

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