Ariel Winter Is Safe and Happy and Fat

By Lex March 26, 2013 @ 9:50 AM

First, let me say, there’s nothing wrong with being overweight. I read that once in a Jenny Craig brochure, which seems ironic, since Jenny makes billions pretending to cure customers of this condition. But, if you’re a teen actress like Ariel Winter from Modern Family, taken away from your horrible stage mom, in part, because she was abusive about keeping you from getting fat, then you get fat, people are going to notice. At least, I am. I notice shit like that. Especially when you brag to places like US magazine about how much happier you are without mom counting your calories:

I had body insecurities when I was younger. I still do. Every girl has insecurities — mine were heightened at the time because my mother wasn’t supportive….. Now, my sister is always making sure to tell me that I look beautiful . . . It’s about learning to love yourself.

Yeah, and learning to say, ‘hold the sour cream’ on the Farmer’s Market breakfast burritos. Mom might be a horrid Hollywood parasite, but she kept you TV show lean. I wonder if she’s looking to adopt.

Photo credit: Splash News

(15) Comments

  1. avatar
    MacDaddy 03/26/2013 09:58

    The girl is 15!! She’ll get hotter and skinnier!

  2. avatar
    Al Bundy 03/26/2013 10:14

    How is it possible that you couldn’t write a funny response to this story?

    It was set up like a baseball on a batting tee.

  3. avatar
    berdo 03/26/2013 10:21

    This post is just pathetic. I have been a long time reader of this site but I am done. Picking on a 15 year old girl who is “fat” because she isn’t a size 1. Grow the fuck up.

  4. avatar
    Shortshanks 03/26/2013 10:24

    This kid’s fabulous tits will become an epic Hollywood story…..

  5. avatar
    gatorattack87 03/26/2013 10:27

    When did this site start including stories that were covered by NPR (,
    and commenting about how a 15 year old actress is getting “a little too heavy”? Dude, I hate to say it, but “Tits or GTFO”. Either be an aggregator for female celebrities in compromising positions, or start writing for Perez Hilton. Also, if you are going to report on a story covered by NPR, then at least include the full story.

    TL;DR: Stop wasting my time acting like you are funny but socially conscience.

  6. avatar
    Wardrive 03/26/2013 10:52

    Hey Gator…he’s a thought…STFU,

    You don’t like the place then shut your hole and walk away….how much are you paying to be here hum??? You paying 10.00 a month, 5.00 a month…no, your paying jack shit for a free site and you bitch about it not being up to your standards, get a clue you ungrateful bastard.

  7. avatar
    crickacrack 03/26/2013 11:06

    Where does this site find it’s writers? This reads like it was written by a highschool boy who just got dumped. I can’t see how with the entire internet at your finger tips you’d ever get to the point where someone could possibly think it’s post worthy to pick on 15 year old highschool girls about their weight, insecurities, and poor childhood. What an embarrassment, maybe you should just stop having any text, these new half-wits are doing their best to bury this site.

  8. avatar
    Admiral 03/26/2013 11:19

    Gah! She looks like she’s 9 years old, but with giant boobs. So confusing.

  9. avatar
    blueheaven 03/26/2013 15:47

    Wow, way to take down a 15-year-old girl. What, couldn’t find a puppy to kick?

  10. avatar
    d-eagle 03/26/2013 19:12

    And the site reaches yet another new low. How classless and unfunny can you be?The girl is a healthy teenage who got out of a bad situation. Also, she is nowhere near fat, just a little short with giant boobs. Come back in 3 years.

  11. avatar
    Jaxx 03/26/2013 20:45

    did….did you just call a 15 year old girl fat?

    You’re an idiot ‘Lex’.

  12. avatar
    clairr 04/01/2013 20:13

    I think the point ‘Lex’ is trying to make is that Ariel was probably better taken care of by her mom. I personally don’t believe her bullshit ‘abuse’ stories. Since when is telling your child that their gaining too much weight abuse? because now the whole world is talking about it anyways. Either way, It’s unhealthy no matter how old she is.

  13. avatar
    Yuckfou 04/04/2013 06:53

    Wonder if she’d let me put it in her butt…

  14. avatar
    Mecha O 09/24/2013 10:28

    Safe, happy, fat….and hopefully doesn’t care about your vapid idiotic opinions.

  15. avatar
    Joeeey 07/25/2014 20:43

    Is this some kind of a fucking joke??
    Picking on a 15 year old girl for not being a size 2? What’s even sadder is how far from true it is? While her breasts may be very large this girl is thinner than 98% of people. Probably the person who wrote this article too. She looks like she has a 23 inch waist and she’s getting called fat? She has very heavy breasts at such a young age, but that has nothing to do with being fat,
    It just makes an already pretty girl even better looking. Honestly??

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