British Girl Gets New DD’s from British Government (VIDEO)

By Michael March 26, 2013 @ 12:22 PM

Would you be OK with your tax dollars going to provide big beautiful fake breasts to members of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee? Yes? Then you should move to jolly ‘ol England! It all started when a chick named Josie Cunningham decided that she couldn’t live with her tiny tits anymore. She wants to be a model and they tend to have larger udders than a 12 year old boy. But how is she going to pay for a £4800 surgery on a £9000 a year salary? Lucky for Josie, Great Britain has government sponsored healthcare. All she had to do was go to her doc and tell him that her small breasteses were making her depressed and before you can say “Kate Middleton Ain’t Shaint Her Taint”, Josie had brand spanking new 36 DD tits. Blimey!

Josie says the inspiration for her surgery is British glamour model and attention whore Katie Price. For those not familiar, Katie Price is essentially a Kim Kardashian of the English variety. I know we have girls in the U.S. already asking for fake body parts to look like Kim Kardashian, and that’s all kinds of horrible in its own way, but they’re paying for it the old fashioned way — daddy, boyfriend, armed robbery of bodegas. Imagine the outrage when you find out your tax dollars went to give some chick with a busted grille like Josie some new giant cans so she can try to be a reality star. At least we’ll finally have that long national debate over the importance of tits. A long time coming.

Here’s Katie Price, so you can see Josie’s life goal.

Photo credit: Splash News / WENN / PCN

(11) Comments

  1. avatar
    Shortshanks 03/26/2013 12:30

    This might be one of the best uses of tax dollars I’ve hear of…..

  2. avatar
    Shortshanks 03/26/2013 12:31

    Now that they’ve done the tits…………hopefully they can undertake a HUGE public works program on her “face”……..

  3. avatar
    Cybergy 03/26/2013 13:15

    If my dog looked like her I’d shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards.

  4. avatar
    woody 03/26/2013 13:33

    I got as far as “iItty Bitty Titty Committee”. I can’t take it anymore. You nerds have ruined the best site on the internet.

  5. avatar
    RangerLG 03/26/2013 13:44

    Gross. Absolutely gross. Courtney Stodden would be proud.

  6. avatar
    barnaby.jones 03/26/2013 14:01

    you know… it’s not that this is offensive, it’s just that it tries SO hard to be offensive that it utterly overshoots the mark of funny, and lands in the territory of juvenile diatribe.
    also, “itty bitty titty committee” is the kind of crap that was said to me when i was 11. it wasn’t clever in 2001, and it isn’t clever now.
    get it together.

  7. avatar
    Squabbler 03/26/2013 14:29

    Lack of weed depresses me, which is how I got my medical marijuana card.

  8. avatar
    Admiral 03/26/2013 15:20

    All this does is increase the speed of Britain’s eventual Muslim takeover. In 25 years women will still be getting breast implants, but they will be covered in black sheets lest they’re raped in the street in broad daylight because Allah said she was asking for it.

  9. avatar
    barnaby.jones 03/26/2013 15:48

    what an astute and totally feasible projection.

  10. avatar
    Anthea 03/26/2013 19:58

    This also works in Switzerland if you have the nerve to go through all the proof they want you to bring up it really depresses you.

    And also if you want a reduction.

  11. avatar
    nraendowment 03/29/2013 10:09

    She looks like Paris Hilton, which is to say she looks like a hooker.

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