Candice Swanepoel Stealing Bikini Jobs from Americans!

By Lex March 25, 2013 @ 5:31 PM

Should Americans be worried that we’re outsourcing all of our bikini modeling jobs? I didn’t say anything when we lost machine tool & dye, and plastics rotocasting, and the Sports Illustrated subscription call center. Boom. Now I have to talk to a guy in Mumbai if I want my football phone. But bikini modeling seems inherently American. Even though we didn’t invent the bikini, modeling, photography, any common swimsuit fabrics, or tits and ass. It still feels like something we own. But we’re losing to both Czech and Slovakia, just imagine if that powerhouse were still united. Where have you gone Brooklyn Decker? Marisa Miller?

Check out South African Candice Swanepoel on the beach in Miami this weekend and lament the loss of perhaps our nation’s finest industry.

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(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    Shortshanks 03/25/2013 17:35

    She can do a swan dive onto my pole…..anytime….

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  4. avatar
    Raymond K. Hessel 03/26/2013 09:21

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