Any man who’s ever been sick or unemployed or just worked swing shift in an Eastern European circus knows that daytime television is bereft of anything worth stroking too. Unless you’re in the three percent of men busting it to children’s programming, or the nine percent of men organizing their junk closet to Anderson Cooper, there’s not much out there for the rest of us. But there was Elizabeth Hasselbeck. And if you were able to tug one out to Elizabeth, surrounded by Whoopi and Joy Behar, dammit, that was some triumph of the male spirit.
So when media rumors erupted over the weekend that Hasselbeck was being given the lady-shove off The View, I assembled my feelings into a truly horrible video mashup, the mix taped of this millenium. Then, Barbara Walters went on TV today to announce that boner killer Joy Behar was leaving the show, not Hasselbeck, who is staying because what the fuck else is she going to do? But I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste a shitty video tribute. So, Lizzy, this one’s for you.