Feminist Revision Of “The Legend Of Zelda”?

Zelda saving Link? What the shit is that? A father with h4x0r skills went into the classic original The Legend of Zelda to make Princess Zelda the hero and Link the victim of Ganon’s kidnapping scheme. Why? So his daughter can play a game that is empowering to women. Look, I’m fine with feminism in so far as women should have the same rights as men, blah, blah, blah. But I draw a line when it comes to video game revisionism. The original Legend of Zelda is one of the greatest games in history and deserves respect. If this guy wanted his daughter to play a game with a female hero he need look no further than Metroid. Making Link Zelda’s bitch not only messes up this game but all subsequent Zelda titles. What happens when this girl gets to Ocarina of Time or Twilight Princess? Is her daddy going to change those too?

Bottom line is that life is unfair and you have to learn to live with that. All this dad has done is create another high maintenance brat that thinks they can shape reality to their whims. I feel so fortunate now that my dad didn’t even bother to feed me. I’m better for it. My frail and poorly developed skeletal structure only reminds of his parenting wisdom.