Feminist Revision Of “The Legend Of Zelda”?

By Jack March 18, 2013 @ 2:40 PM








Zelda saving Link? What the shit is that? A father with h4x0r skills went into the classic original The Legend of Zelda to make Princess Zelda the hero and Link the victim of Ganon’s kidnapping scheme. Why? So his daughter can play a game that is empowering to women. Look, I’m fine with feminism in so far as women should have the same rights as men, blah, blah, blah. But I draw a line when it comes to video game revisionism. The original Legend of Zelda is one of the greatest games in history and deserves respect. If this guy wanted his daughter to play a game with a female hero he need look no further than Metroid. Making Link Zelda’s bitch not only messes up this game but all subsequent Zelda titles. What happens when this girl gets to Ocarina of Time or Twilight Princess? Is her daddy going to change those too?

Bottom line is that life is unfair and you have to learn to live with that. All this dad has done is create another high maintenance brat that thinks they can shape reality to their whims. I feel so fortunate now that my dad didn’t even bother to feed me. I’m better for it. My frail and poorly developed skeletal structure only reminds of his parenting wisdom.

(9) Comments

  1. mshanako 03/18/2013 16:43

    you also didn’t read the story, dingus…. this was done by a woman. she was inspired by the father that made the princess playable in Donkey Kong for his daughter.

  2. Little Sister 03/18/2013 17:25

    Yeah, was about to come here to also comment on the fact that this wasn’t a father making it for his daughter. Was a girl and her boyfriend doing revisions on the game: http://www.cnet.com.au/animator-hacks-zelda-so-you-can-play-as-zelda-339343684.htm

  3. The Mildly Tanned Knight 03/18/2013 17:55

    LOL….I’m actually beginning to enjoy this site again….although it’s just for watching the commenters beat the ever-loving shit out of the hack writers.

    This never gets old!

  4. zionium 03/18/2013 18:22

    Let’s assume he did get the original story right, and it was some dad doing this for his daughter.

    Why the hell are you bashing him?

    You’ve had nice things to say all day about Leanne Rhymes and JWOW. Sure, backhanded nice things, but still…nice things. And then you totally rip, 100%, on a dad who can mod games, and a 6 year old whose concept of female empowerment is as deep as “Zelda is pretty.”

    You’re picking on the wrong people.

    Write the story, compliment the guy, don’t knock some random kid, and then make a joke about the game is now better because even tits in 8 bit are better than no tits at all.

  5. woody 03/18/2013 19:40

    Again, boring and lame. I can’t get two lines into the post. You suck.

  6. sinnnn 03/18/2013 20:25

    Why the fuck do none of your videos work on iOS devices anymore?!? Brandon leaves and you fucktards forget how to embed videos with HTML 5 video support?!?

  7. Vichus 03/18/2013 23:55

    Whether she needs to be rescued or she’s doing the rescuing, the legend is still about Zelda. Therefore, even though he’s the hero, Hyrule don’t give a shit about him.

  8. acidcasualty 03/19/2013 02:39

    I’m new here. I have a question.

    While most of the commenters are adorable and all, why do you come here? You seem to hate it. “Boring. You suck. This article sucks. You’re wrong. Etc.” Just curious, but why torture yourselves by reading this site if you hate it so much? Is your browser broken?

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