I Take Back Every Mean Thing I Ever Took Back About Chelsea Clinton

By Bill March 14, 2013 @ 4:07 PM

Back in the last millenium, it was all the rage to pick on Chelsea Clinton. Mostly because she looked like the Spaniel mix left unadopted at the pound. But also I guess because some people hated her dad. But there were those of us so refined, so pure of heart, and so incredibly pussy-whipped by young girlfriends, that we talked down those nasty Chelsea jokes. We refused to guffaw or snicker at Chelesea’s expense. We called those disparagers some of our own bad names. Things like ‘hey, mean person’ and ‘stop being such a mean person’. It impressed our girlfriends. And it impressed ourselves.

But fuck all that now. Chelsea Clinton and her husband just bought a $10.5 million dollar apartment mansion in the Whitman building in Manhattan. I don’t even know what Chelsea does for a living, but she’s got some serious cash. Or her husband does. Or daddy does. Either way, while America has taught me to admire the successful, rather than be jealous, screw that. It’s a 6 unit building with a private gym. I live in an 80 unit apartment building and we got a 15 x 15 room with a ratty shag carpet, a medicine ball, and an unwound Best of Bon Jovi cassette tape decaying in the corner.

Enjoy your workouts, Spaniel.

(8) Comments

  1. avatar
    CgiBinLaden 03/14/2013 16:28

    My cat could eat a scrabble set and shit out a more informative and entertaining post.

  2. avatar
    defunk 03/14/2013 16:54

    Jesus man, is this what passes for a post on this site now?

  3. avatar
    Maybe_Observer 03/14/2013 18:10


    …Please hack this site and take over…..

    …and no offense to your cat….but I think that’s what’s known as a “left-handed compliment”

  4. avatar
    NeverBrook 03/14/2013 18:28

    The writing on this site makes my cat weep.

  5. avatar
    woody 03/14/2013 20:50

    This post SUCKS big ugly COCK. Good lord are you fucking high? You suck “Bill”. You sound like a dork trying to be cool. You are not cool.

  6. avatar
    ThisSiteIsGayPornography 03/14/2013 23:08

    Typical liberals. They are probably telling people making 60 grand how they need to pay more taxes.

  7. avatar
    Al Bundy 03/15/2013 07:21

    How many writers did this site hire, and yet still couldn’t find one…..ONE……one guy that was even remotely funny???

  8. avatar
    RangerLG 03/15/2013 09:43

    I’ll be more interested when Hillary does porn.

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