If You’re Going to Drink, Don’t Drive Into Miranda Kerr!

By Bill March 14, 2013 @ 11:38 AM

Dammit. Of all the people for some drunken idiot to crash into, why Miranda Kerr? Ladies, I know you know who Miranda Kerr is. Men, unless you’re sporting neuticles where the jewels used to rest, you definitely keep yourself aware of Miranda Kerr’s work efforts. She was just born hot. And Australian. But we can’t hold that second part against her.

Now, some ginned up fucknut smashed into her on the freeway and shook up her neck and spine. Apparently, she’s going to be fine. Which is good. Because I’d hate to have to commit my life to some prison justice for the idiot who killed her. Get myself arrested on stealing Slim Jims from the 7-Eleven so I could share that guy’s cellblock then shank him in the shower. I didn’t like to shower in high school gym, let alone prisons. so this works out for the best. Next time, T-bone Orlando, you DUI douchebag.

To celebrate Miranda still being alive, check out a shit-ton of hot pictures of her we put together:


(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    Maybe_Observer 03/14/2013 12:39

    I’d like to slam into her if I got half a chance….

  2. avatar
    Admiral 03/14/2013 12:56

    She looks like a super-hot version of what I would have wanted Salena Gomez to look like. So, really there’s no reason for Gomez while Miranda is in existence.

    It makes sense in my head.

  3. avatar
    Maybe_Observer 03/14/2013 18:13

    I’d rather have Selena Gomez…..

    ….but this one will do while I’m waiting…

  4. avatar
    perfectpeeps 03/14/2013 22:34

    Given the chance Id ram Mirand Kerr.. See what I did there ;)

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