James Deen Is a Conniving Cocksman

James Deen makes a living raw-dogging chicks on camera. He’s known for his “boy next door” atypical porn looks and A+ fisting abilities. He tried to break into mainstream films by starring alongside Lindsay Lohan in The Canyons, but that shit flopped like Lindsay’s tits when she’s hoovering up the cocaine remnants across a party pad coffee table.

Just hours after tweeting a blog post about “Super Awesome Anal Sex” with Christie Stevens, James tweeted “Monogamy makes my dick hard.”

Monogamy doesn’t make his moneymaker hard, he’d be unemployed if that was the case. Gang bangs and butt sex in sex dungeons do. Trust me, I’ve seen his work. A lot of it.

Either James is trying to impress some chick he wants to hump or he has a very different definition of monogamy, one that we should all embrace. His most well know relationship was with fellow porn star Joanna Angel, a kinky little tattooed chick-a-dee with the most impressive bung hole skills I’ve ever seen. That girl could recite the Emancipation Proclamation through her shitter and make it moving. James and Joana would take romantic vacations and film themselves plowing their way through the population of Europe; their definition of an Eiffel Tower is a little different than the one in a Paris Travel Guide. And so is James’ definition of monogamy. We women don’t mind a dude who fucks around, just be honest. Maybe not so much with the sheer numbers and holes, just say, ‘Hey, I fuck around a lot.’ We’ll get it.