Jay-Z Orders Up a Private Boys Club with Just Justin

I’m so pro-gay rights I shit rainbow colored poop like a My Little Pony, but there’s something fishy if not swishy about Jay-Z’s plans for the “private gentlemen’s club” for himself and Justin Timberlake backstage for the pair’s upcoming “Legends of the Summer” tour together. No girls allowed.

Jay-Z is hiring a professional cigar roller to accompany them on tour and roll cigars in their backstage gentlemen’s room. What the fuck does H.O.V.A. need a professional cigar roller for, you think that man don’t know how to roll his own blunts by now? Unless there’s some Lewinskys in the room for a little Churchill fun time, Jay-Z’s plans for a private gentlemen’s room sounds gayer than leather chaps on a waxed ass.

I get it, you bros want some time away from your yapping famous wives on your big manly man tour and you’ve got money to burn. All I’m saying is, shouldn’t guys with time away from their wives be banging other women? We ladies dont’ like that shit, but at least we understand it. Guys only rooms? That gets us thinking we’re one phone call away from bailing your ass out of jail following a vice raid at a local glory hole.

“Yeah I’m out that Brooklyn, now I’m down in TriBeCa, right next to DeNiro, but I’ll be hood forever.” Hood? You misspelled “dandy,” Jigga.