Jessica Alba Will Never Show You Her Boobs Again

In the celebrity Circle of Life, once an actress gets herself to the top with money and fame and kids and a husband who is rich but nobody knows what the hell he does, you’re probably never going to see her tits again. It’s not exactly Mustafa explaining why it’s okay to slaughter the zebras and consume their freshly bloodied flesh, but it’s still a fucking brutal reality.

Jessica Alba used to be good for a sweet peek show. She wanted the attention. We wanted to give it to her. But, these days with Jessica, it’s looking like she did arriving in Paris in her fat girl robe coat. You’ll see more lady skin on a Riyadh boulevard during honor killing hour. A shame too, because Jessica Alba is so damn fine.