Lil Wayne Is Out Of The Hospital. He’ll Be Back Soon.

By Jack March 19, 2013 @ 3:07 PM

Lil Wayne was released from the hospital today after 6 days in intensive care…or not, no one really knows. The rap star was rumored to be dying and supposedly had the last rites recited over his tiny little body. Rumor has it that he was having seizures because he drank too much sizzurp, which is codeine cough syrup, fruit soda, and a Jolly Rancher. Besides contemplating how much of that shit he must have drunk to be hospitalized for 6 days, who honestly gives a shit? Think about it. Back in the day no one gave a crap if some douche who couldn’t handle his narcotics/booze had to sleep it off for a few days in the drunk tank. Why do we make such a big deal about Lil Wayne’s cough syrup bender?

Would we even care if it was cocaine or heroin? We hear about celebs going into rehab for that shit all the time. What’s so shocking about sizzurp abuse? It’s something a lot of people have done. Hell, I used to pretend to have a cough when I was young so I could drink Dimetapp because that shit is delicious. Also, I have news for you, things will not end well for Lil Wayne. Face tattoos are like a billboard that reads, “I will die young and horribly”. It’s hard to say if he’ll be shot like Tupac or OD like Ol’ Dirty Bastard. My money is on a little of both.

wwtdd

(10) Comments

  1. RangerLG 03/19/2013 15:20

    Jack, Bill, Wyatt, these all sound like the same fucking person. Some college intern with schizophrenia.

  2. I Blogged Your Mom 03/19/2013 16:16

    Agreed, and they are all terrible. Leave it to this site to hire someone with multiple personalities and they are all illiterate idiots.

  3. doze 03/19/2013 16:54

    It could at least have been shorter; who gives a god damn about some story about dimetapp:

    “Lil Wayne was released from the hospital today after 6 days in intensive care…or not, no one really knows. Who honestly gives a shit? Things will not end well for Lil Wayne. Face tattoos are like a billboard that reads, “I will die young and horribly”.”

    Paying by the word is no way to run a page devoted to being snarky and intuitive; you lose the reader after the fifth line. Did anyone even read this third paragraph?

  4. zionium 03/19/2013 16:59

    I’m not sure why’re you’re yelling at us. Please stop. We didn’t do anything wrong.

  5. Al Bundy 03/19/2013 17:21

    WTF should we care about this story ???

  6. Cpoy 03/19/2013 18:42

    Wow. So bad. Please bring back the old writer. I’m giving up.

  7. woody 03/19/2013 19:28

    Yeah, no one gives a shit so why are you writing a painfully long post about it that doesn’t make any sense. You suck JACK.

  8. Shibby9386 03/19/2013 20:15

    Your writing sucks and no one gives a shit about your insight. Please have a seizure so we can bring in the next hack.

  9. Franco187 03/19/2013 22:02

    Jack,
    You suck! One more week of this feces and I’m out.

  10. DBag 03/21/2013 15:44

    Jack, Eat a Dick! You Suck. I hope someone beats your ass the drinks syrup and pees down your throat.

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