LL Cool J Claims He Won’t Make A Chris Dorner Movie

By Travis March 04, 2013 @ 2:37 PM

LL Cool J is a bald, African-American man and Christopher Dorner used to be a bald, African-American man before he was torched in a cabin after a shooting spree in California that captivated the country. But Dorner is dead now and LL Cool J is alive, so that means TMZ can still ask him really stupid questions like, “Would you play Chris Dorner in a biopic?”

Outside Katsuya in Hollywood last night, we asked the Grammy host/rapper/”NCIS: Los Angeles” star about possibly doing a biopic, but he quickly nixed the idea.

LL told us, “That’s not something to even talk about because there are families that suffered, people that died. And because of that, I think it would be disrespectful to them to … have this conversation about a film when people’s lives were on the line.” (TMZ)

Meanwhile, Vivid is waiting for Lex Steele to agree to play Fist Porner, a large black man who shoots all over white women’s faces and tits. It’s the role he was born for.

But Hollywood is full of opportunistic dicks with no concept of the phrase, “Too soon” so it won’t be long before a studio actually asks LL Cool J to star in Dorner’s story. When he (probably) says yes, hopefully they’ll cast Playboy’s Ciara Price to play the rookie FBI agent who has to track him to that cabin in the woods, and she won’t let a shred of clothing stand in her way.

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    RangerLG 03/04/2013 14:43

    Loosely translated, no one has asked and how much we talkin?

  2. avatar
    MacDaddy 03/04/2013 14:50

    Holy fuck that girl is HOT. I love chicks with words tattooed on their ass, gives me somthing to read! LOL

  3. avatar
    AdrianMoss 03/04/2013 14:53

    I think they asked LL because all black guys lookalike

  4. avatar
    Pugiron 03/04/2013 15:26

    Remember when Playmates used to be hot, in shape chicks? Who let this dumpy 7 be a playmate?

  5. avatar
    Al Bundy 03/04/2013 15:47

    Remember when pictures of naked Playmate bodies were actually their real bodies?

  6. avatar
    Conal 03/04/2013 20:00

    Tattooing a Roman numeral 19 on your cooter might have been cute when guy number 19 just blew his load on your stomach, but not so much when there’s been another 25 in the rear-view.

You must be to post a comment.