How do you know when a celebrity is lying? When they quit Twitter because they’re sick of all the untruths. Kind of like discovering gambling in Casablanca. Just last week the spastic Miley Cyrus hunched over her MacBook Air and tweeted out that she was leaving social media because of all the unfounded rumors about her breaking up with that Hemsworth brother who is not Thor. Well, it looks like it’s true.
Why do we care? Rebound sex. Miley is going to have a ton of it. She’s going to bang so hard her back might straighten out. And that’s something every man within her radius ought to note. Because outside of daddy-hate, broken-hearted-rebound-sex is the easiest, craziest times on the planet.