Nina Agdal in Lingerie

Whenever I see lingerie ads, I assume they’re for women, because other than my Uncle Theo who we found out later in life was ‘Tina’ twice a week at a risque nightclub three counties over, men aren’t buying much lingerie. Outside of the idiots who can’t wait to hear their girls utter the phrase, ‘Great, so you think I’m a whore?’, silky underwear buying is better left to the wearer. Or to girls who giggle at bachelorette parties and talk about how ‘Steve is going to die when he sees you in this’. Those girls know full well that twelve months from now married Steve will not care how his wife dresses so much as he is wondering where the hell his blowjobs went.

Still, I’d like to buy shit for Nina Agdal to wear. Because hot girls make you stupid and forget all the rules. Fuck, I’d buy her a car and a house. If I had the money, or even if I didn’t. Variable rate loans are the bomb.