Prince William Becomes Another Useless Fucking Royal

By Jack March 28, 2013 @ 11:38 AM

Princely William is about to become as fucking useless as the rest of the British royal family. He has worked the last few years piloting search and rescue helicopters and actually making himself worthwhile. But now he’s quitting because he squirted a noble vagina troll into Kate Middleton and he is increasingly needed to cut ribbons at supermarkets or whatever fucking royalty does. His family is basically on welfare and food stamps if you think about it. They live completely off of the British people’s tax dollars and don’t have jobs. We don’t pay taxes in England so what should we care if these lazy inbred fuckers suck off the British teat?

It matters because most of those tourism dollars come from us. We Americans are obsessed with the British royal family. By ‘we’ I mean you, not me. You read about Kate Middleton’s baby bump as much as Kim Kardashian’s swelling beetle thorax. Every year Americans spend tons of dollars going to England to gawp at these assholes. The Nielsen ratings for the royal wedding were astronomical in spite of people having to get up at 5 am to watch the pasty white drama unfold. Remember that we kicked these assholes out of our country 200 years ago. We said that we didn’t want to be ruled over or even know about these shitheels. By taking away our interest and tourism dollars we will complete the task started by George Washington and John Adams and help to finally bring down the British crown. Princely William will have to return to work, which will be good for him, because a job makes a man virile and proud. As opposed to prematurely bald and constipated.

wwtdd

(14) Comments

  1. avatar
    Shortshanks 03/28/2013 12:05

    I’ll believe this shit when W*WT*DD Whatever This Website Becomes DOESN’T print every fu*cking useless detail on this couple………

    …..other than nip-slips and lip-slips……which are always welcome…..

  2. avatar
    Lektor 03/28/2013 12:08

    Yet another man who doesn’t understand how the British system work. The royal family gets a salary in exchange of which Britiain gets the revenue from the Crown Land. Here is explained in a very very simple way http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhyYgnhhKFw

    Secondly for those not very familiar with history it was the French who did most of the work. They were the one who puts constant pressure on the British Empire and who financed the entire American rebellion. Without the French the part of the Americans who rebelled(since it was far from an unified rebellion) would have been crushed into nothing. But thanks to the french this made it too costly

    But I am guessing you were trying to sound cool or something for the average internet users so good luck with this

  3. avatar
    wayne44870 03/28/2013 12:33

    Let’s review: beautiful gorgeous female tits and ass is all we are here for!

  4. avatar
    dave1234 03/28/2013 12:46

    please bring the old writer back.

  5. avatar
    RangerLG 03/28/2013 13:21

    No Lektor, it is because the US already kicked the UK’s royal ass and we don’t give a shit about the “royal family”. They used to be a bunch of incestual mongoloids.

  6. avatar
    RoyaleWithCheese 03/28/2013 14:40

    The site isn’t the same without the B man but this guy did pretty well here. The snarky attitude mixed with copious amounts of profanity made it feel like the old site again.

    Keep it up, but keep away from these British assholes.

  7. avatar
    Crimson 03/28/2013 16:09

    It’s uncanny, it really is uncanny. Not only do you make a post which as “Lektor” pointed out is incorrect and a child could have researched. (Which is ironic because part of your job is to RESEARCH stories of interest.) but what is more harrowing is an profound and consistent ability to alienate British visitors to the website as well as being devoid of any humour. There have been multiple occasions since Brendon left where I’ve read post after post on unneccesary “Limeys” etc etc. Which would be fine, heck encouraged if it were anywhere NEAR funny, but it’s not. It’s boring drivel.

    So what are we left with in the end? We’re left with writers who are PAID to provide stories which are not only recycled from other sites and late, but are inaccurate and not even slightly funny as well as being plain insulting and alienating, the opposite of what you should be aiming for. Some are even bordering on incoherency such as the Selena Gomez “Rapper Train” post, which took several read throughs to even gain a grasp of because it was so poorly written.

    I sincerely hope someone high up reads this, or if not I hope you’re capable of reflecting upon yourself, because since the change in writers the comments have consistently been those of bad reviews. It isn’t hating either, it’s not trolling. It’s true accurate critique, currently things are so bad no amount of advice or amendment will fix how awful your writing style is. I would gladly take one post a month from Brendon over 100 posts from the new short sighted, braindead “‘MURRICA” clan BS you have now. If not Brendon, at least get someone decent in, the current writers don’t deserve to be paid for what they do (Especially this one, “Jack,” who should be ashamed not only of his skill but also of his personality and world-views which are projecting into his already terrible work.)

  8. avatar
    Xcotty 03/28/2013 17:53

    Do I smell the stench of anti Britishness?
    Quite odd, seeing as most American roots, are firmly from Great Britain.
    The above story, is poorly written, poorly researched, and could have been written by a spotty teenager. Is it funny? Not really, it could have been funny, if the writer had been witty, and clever enough, not to rely on obvious sweary language. Obvious, to the extent of boredom. Perhaps it’s meant to be satire, if it is, it’s very shite satire.
    Now you may think I’m an English Royalist. Nothing could be further from the truth.
    I’m a Scottish Highlander, who detests the royal family. Thats in my blood.
    I was drawn to this ‘article’ as I thought it might be humerous. But it’s just crap.
    Sack whoever wrote this, and get some clever, witty, and actually funny people on the case. That is all. Good Morning America. ;-)

  9. avatar
    Cray 03/28/2013 18:48

    I bet Jack doesn’t even have a passport.

    Some people may not like the royal family, but at least they give us some entertainment in the press. (Dressing as a Nazi (Harry), Playing Strip Pool (Harry), accidentally making very inappropriate (often racist) comments (Philip), going to war (Harry), Over the top wedding (William), knocking up a fairly hot posh bird (William)).

    The above things might make a good base for a story, if you add intellect and wit. William taking it easy as he starts a family is dribble. It’s the kind of thing that wouldn’t even make it on the cover of “Hello!” magazine. It certainly isn’t worth reporting here, especially as you lot are completely devoid of both intellect and wit. (I miss Brendan).

    Add to that a totally close minded and very naive editorial style assuming everyone reading this is American (because why wouldn’t they be on the Internet of all things, which I’m sure is also American).

    This offends the British, anyone that actually has admiration for the British. Also any Americans that are working to trying to dispel some of the non-American population of the world’s opinion of Americans as self important gun totting obese simpletons that don’t understand sarcasm. (I do not think this at all. Unfortunately many do, and posts like this are the cause)

    Well done! Instead of being entertaining you’ve turned this into a rant that will polarize your audience (assuming you still have one). Just to be clear it will be between people that think you’re not funny or talented and people that are offended by you and think you’re not funny or talented.

    Muppet.

  10. avatar
    Dums 03/28/2013 19:29

    I don’t think anyone who writes “articles” for a site that gets most of its traffic from celebrity bikini pictures and nip-slips can really call anyone useless without a great measure of hypocrisy.

  11. avatar
    Conal 03/28/2013 20:38

    The majority of people in the US who care about the royals are 45 year old bombed out cat ladies who subscribe to People and US Weekly and think they develop a “connection” with people they see on TV.

  12. avatar
    woody 03/28/2013 21:49

    This isn’t funny. There are no pictures of hot chics. It’s downright hateful. Not why I come to wwtdd. The funny thing about Brendon was that he wrote funny, witty stuff that Tyler Durden might have said. Thus the name “what would tyler durden do”….

  13. avatar
    moe9t9 03/29/2013 03:23

    what has this website turned into……
    i used to look at this website daily and laugh at most of the stories that were posted here but since Brendon has left i normally scroll through the stories and very rarely read them.
    decided to read this one and i cant help but think the writers now are trying to write like Brendon without his comical touch.
    everyone is allowed their opinion but at least when Brendon did it it came across in a way that made you laugh and in no way offended. I find this story very offencive and by no means funny.
    I’m faily sure 90% of the people that look at this website do so due to the fact that they liked the way Brendon made fun of things and his witty comments. This website is HIS website and without him its nothing……

  14. avatar
    cejadude 03/31/2013 09:42

    1. this is about 90% incorrect
    2. this isn’t funny in the slightest
    3. this is quite offensive (which is only an issue because of number 2)

    I’m still going to browse this website in the hopes that it one day improves to what it was, i’m just turning Adblock back on so you don’t gain any revenue from my views until i deem what you have written as actually worth my time in the first place.

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