Prince William Becomes Another Useless Fucking Royal

Princely William is about to become as fucking useless as the rest of the British royal family. He has worked the last few years piloting search and rescue helicopters and actually making himself worthwhile. But now he’s quitting because he squirted a noble vagina troll into Kate Middleton and he is increasingly needed to cut ribbons at supermarkets or whatever fucking royalty does. His family is basically on welfare and food stamps if you think about it. They live completely off of the British people’s tax dollars and don’t have jobs. We don’t pay taxes in England so what should we care if these lazy inbred fuckers suck off the British teat?

It matters because most of those tourism dollars come from us. We Americans are obsessed with the British royal family. By ‘we’ I mean you, not me. You read about Kate Middleton’s baby bump as much as Kim Kardashian’s swelling beetle thorax. Every year Americans spend tons of dollars going to England to gawp at these assholes. The Nielsen ratings for the royal wedding were astronomical in spite of people having to get up at 5 am to watch the pasty white drama unfold. Remember that we kicked these assholes out of our country 200 years ago. We said that we didn’t want to be ruled over or even know about these shitheels. By taking away our interest and tourism dollars we will complete the task started by George Washington and John Adams and help to finally bring down the British crown. Princely William will have to return to work, which will be good for him, because a job makes a man virile and proud. As opposed to prematurely bald and constipated.