Selena Gomez Pulled a Rapper Train?

By Steve G. March 25, 2013 @ 7:00 AM

Last week Gucci Mane DROPPED Waka Flocka from his label – when he heard rumors that Waka had SMASHED actress Selena Gomez. And these rumors ain’t coming from just anybody. got its hands on TWEETS sent from BRICK SQUAD rapper/soldier Lil Skitzz. And according to Lil Skitzz not only did Waka SMASH . . . but he says that Brick SQUAD did a little CHOO CHOO with Justin’s ex.  - MediaTakeOut

Speechless. Absolutely speechless. I’m going to take this rumor with a big-ass grain of salt, but the internet has never steered me wrong before. Could it be? I’d like to say given the chance I’d jump on board the pound town express with my bro’s but I have the body of a young Chris Farley, am hesitantly confident I have a smaller penis than any of my friends, my ability to please a woman sexually is questionable at best, and I could deal with only one horribly unsatisfied person critiquing my technique at a time. Long story short, I couldn’t handle an audience. But, yeah, I’d drink a beer and watch.

Jesus, this story feels so dirty. Please let it be true.

(8) Comments

  1. avatar
    throwmeaway 03/25/2013 08:22

    I.. I couldn’t read -any- of that
    Between the RANDOM CAPS in the source quote and the rambling writing of the post.. wow.

  2. avatar
    Maybe_Observer 03/25/2013 08:31

    According to Justin Beiber…….Selena’s delicate maiden-head is still intact………

  3. avatar
    tapilon 03/25/2013 09:39

    The “….pound town express with my bro’s….” My God, how embarrassing. What’s worse? The painful run-on sentence, or the cringe-worthy “comedy?” I guess hitting internet rock-bottom lasts for weeks around here now. It’s actually entertaining in sad way.

  4. avatar
    LoK 03/25/2013 11:16

    could this be the start of Charlie Manson’s Helter Skelter?

  5. avatar
    Subzero288 03/25/2013 11:35

    I honestly couldn’t make out a single word of that ‘story.’ What does it actually mean, in English (or at least in a language that I can translate into English)?

  6. avatar
    Pottz 03/25/2013 14:48

    Who cares, the writers may as well be outsourced from India.

  7. avatar
    bigclaunchy 03/25/2013 20:48

    It means she blew/screwed a lot of rappers…. like a gang bang –

  8. avatar
    aldoranngear 03/27/2013 10:10

    Really? You’re on WWTDD and critiquing the writing and the comedy? You need to stick with MSNBC and CNN. Leave the satire and adult humor to the grown folks.

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