These Bitches Be Getting Crazier

Every day I scour the interweb news looking for celebrity assholes acting stupid so that I can mock them and make myself feel more virile in the process. It seems that every week a big part of these stories aren’t nip slips or bad career decisions but young coked out stars acting dog shit crazy. It’s such a common occurrence that we don’t even bat our cynical eyelashes at it anymore. Remember way back when Superman’s Margot Kidder acted like a nutbag in an alley or when the entire cast of Diff’rent Strokes imploded? It was shocking because it didn’t happen that often. Now we hear that Lindsey Lohan raped a couch or that Amanda Bynes ran over a hobo and it doesn’t surprise us. Where do these bitches get off being crazy?

Look, I know they got famous at a young age and that that has got to be hard. Teenagers are assholes normally but if you are bringing in millions you probably become an insufferable shitweasel. I know money doesn’t buy you happiness, but it can sure as fuck rent it. Think about what most worries you in your daily life and it probably has to do with money. How am I going to make the rent? Credit card debt sucks all my money away. These loons are not only rich, they have achieved the dream that every actor works their asses off to achieve. 90% of the time when you go to a restaurant in LA you are being waited on by someone that would remove their own genitals with a rusty scabbard to achieve a fraction of their success. Only the rich can afford to be truly crazy. The rest of us have to settle for being quirky and annoying.