What Porn We Watch And What It Says About Our Countries

By Jack March 13, 2013 @ 3:05 PM

If there is one thing that unites all of mankind, it’s porn. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, black or white, liberal or conservative, gay or straight, we all jerk off while watching other people naked and going at it. But have you ever wondered what porn your neighbors are watching?

Porn MD, a wonderfully thorough porn search engine, published this map of what the top ten most popular porn searches are by country and state. It probably says more about a people and place than any extensive Ph.D social science study. For instance, in New York, where I live, porn consumers prefer college students and milfs, an interesting juxtaposition. But in Texas, where I’m from, creampies are #3 but aren’t on the New York list at all. It’s probably because there are too many people in NYC, why add more when you can spunk on her stomach? In Kenya, they like gay monster cocks and fake vaginas. That sounds like a horrible fucking party. Not surprisingly, Finland likes male and female ejaculation. European and Asian countries tend to be very nationalistic. 8 out of 10 of the top search terms in Japan are variations on Japanese.They are very loyal to their homeland shtupping.

We Americans are less loyal porn consumers. If the milf, POV, or anal video happens to have Americans doing the deed, so be it. But we aren’t likely to let people jabbering in foreign languages ruin our penetrating visuals. Maybe this is why so many porn companies are leaving LA and going to other countries, Canada in particular. Are we going to export our porn jobs overseas like we did auto manufacturing? This seems like the kind of shit the President should be looking into. When Michelle is away on one of her fat kid trips.

wwtdd

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    bogdogg 03/13/2013 15:36

    This is the 3rd story today that previously appeared on Barstool….what happened to this site? Seems like just the same rehashed stories that are everywhere else.

  2. avatar
    Beppo 03/13/2013 15:55

    I am unable to read all that

  3. avatar
    ThisSiteIsGayPornography 03/13/2013 22:41

    Taxes.

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