Beyoncé Won’t Look Like She-Hulk On Her Tour

After turning in one of the better Super Bowl Halftime performances in recent years, Beyoncé has laid some new ground rules for her Mrs. Carter Show world tour, thanks to those less-than-flattering photos that made it look like she was firing out a massive dump. Beyoncé and her team have banned press photographers from her tour, and she will only have her own photographer taking pictures of her, according to the Daily Mail.

This way, Beyoncé can be in control of which photos of her can hit the Internet and which can’t. So instead of just being human and showing people that she has a sense of humor, Beyoncé has opened the door for every smartass on the Internet with photoshop to do even more damage with the approved images that she allows to be published.

“Hey, I didn’t have a penis on my forehead at that show in London,” she’ll say before sending out the Illuminati hit squad to take care of the persons responsible.