Cory Monteith Back to Rehab

People often generalize that women love shit like Glee, but they ought to clarify that’s women who aren’t horny for hard men who love musicals. I’ll take Walking Dead, thank you very manly. Anyhow, 30-year old singing show star Cory Monteith is headed back to rehab for the second time. The first time he went he was 19 and “doing every and any [drug] as much as possible.” He started drinking at age 13 and spent most of his youth wasted and stealing money, his childhood sounds pretty badass. I’d do him if he had a real rap sheet. As long as he didn’t sing.

I guess he’s still on any and every drug 11 years later because back to rehab he goes. I truly feel for the dude, I’d need whatever Judy Garland was on in the Wizard of Oz to star on that show too. His girlfriend and Glee costar, Lea Michele, issued an official statement:

“I love and support Cory and will stand by him through this,” she tells PEOPLE exclusively. “I am grateful and proud he made this decision.”

Yeah, no woman’s really that proud when their dude wants to snort rails more than bang them in bed. It’s an insult when you’re giving away pussy and he still takes off to go meet ‘his guy’. Besides, you know Princes Lea is rooting for Corey to fail rehab again. The minute he sobers up he’s going to look around at all the other beautiful Hollywood women and leave her ass for someone with bigger tits who issues less twatty public statements.