On one hand, it’s nice to know that Public Enemy hype man Flavor Flav is still alive. On the other hand, it sucks to find that out because he’s heading to trial to face felony charges of assault and child endangerment, related to an incident from last October. Flav (real name: William Drayton, Jr.) allegedly threw his girlfriend of eight years, Elizabeth Trujillo, to the ground during an argument, and then all shit hit the fan when her 17-year old son came to her rescue.
Flav allegedly grabbed a butcher’s knife, as well as a steak knife and pizza cutter, and threatened to stab the boy as he chased him to his bedroom. Flav’s lawyers tried to avoid a trial by arguing that his actions all came in self-defense, because Trujillo’s son, who is 6-3 and 200 pounds, had the tiny rapper in a headlock. However, the judge still felt there was enough evidence to go to trial.
Flav faces 12 years in prison if found guilty, but it’s cool because he can just have Brigitte Nielsen smuggle him cigarettes, a TV, king-sized bed, large birthday cake, Volkswagen Beetle and the entire New York Knicks roster in her vagina in case he gets bored.