Kristen Stewart Banging Rupert Sanders Again (Allegedly)

By Sophie April 23, 2013 @ 1:44 PM

Kristen Stewart Cheating US Weekly
(Photo above is from the last time Kristen got caught with Rupert as he went down on her clam in a car during a break from shooting Snow White.)

Shortly after her cuckolded corpse of a boyfriend Robert Pattinson flew out of Los Angeles on Sunday evening, Kristen Stewart was photographed getting into a black Acura, the same model Sanders owns, with a man who bears a striking resemblance to the Snow White and the Huntsman director. Hey, his wife Liberty Ross filled for divorce in January, he’s basically a free man. The only one who looks like a dumb ass this time around is Pattinson and I don’t even know if he has feelings. There’s more personality in my dildo.

Anyway, haters gonna hate on Kristen, but I’m totally on her side on this one. The sexual chemistry between an older man and a younger woman is a perfectly natural and healthy thing. Older men are better in bed because they’re not instinctively desperate to cover the planet with their seed. Plus, they have real jobs and don’t live with their parents. I’m 25 and you couldn’t pay me to jump into the sack with anyone who isn’t at least ten years my elder. As for why Rupert would want to bang a girl half his age, well, men aren’t that hard to figure out. It’s obviously true love.

(15) Comments

  1. avatar
    Never Say Nevers Again 04/23/2013 13:55

    So readers, who is the worst of the new “writers?”

    Lex, with the incessant incessantness?

    Sophie, with her (probably disingenuous) womanly point of view?

    Jack, with his poorly researched, and mildly retarded, political posts?

    Travis, the other one?

    The choice is yours dear readers! If you choose the correct answer the owners may bribe you with money to continue frequenting this unpalatable husk of a site. How splendid!

    All the mindless/unfunny drivel you can handle!

    Remember the banner competition? Neither do I!

    All of this can be yours if you just answer the simple question!

  2. avatar
    countpoopoo 04/23/2013 14:12

    Sophie- Why? She is woman.

  3. avatar
    Never Say Nevers Again 04/23/2013 14:14

    Is she? Is she.

  4. avatar
    Daos 04/23/2013 14:41

    I can’t really tell the difference between them. It’s 4 or 5 people taking turns trying to sound like Brendon or the article they just saw over at the Superficial.

  5. avatar
    Shortshanks 04/23/2013 16:00

    Never Say Nevers……..

    ….one of them was funny one day….but I forgot which one and which day……

    ….every one of them has written a funny line at least once…..but I think there are statistical reasons for that……

  6. avatar
    Shortshanks 04/23/2013 16:01

    Sophie (the writer)…..

    ….you may be on to something in this behavior as described……

    ….I’ve read from time to time that some people LIKE fu*ckin’……

  7. avatar
    0898 04/23/2013 16:08

    @Never Say Nevers Again

    I think it’s all the same person under different names. Why the hell they don’t bring Brendon back I don’t know. But whilst most are coming here to see if he’s returned and to heckle the current writers, for now the site’s not hurting for hits so why should Celebuzz care what readers want to read? Brendon burnt out and lost his mojo and that’s not their fault- it’s a business after all so they had to do something I guess. Long term, who knows what’ll happen.

  8. avatar
    angela 04/23/2013 16:10

    Sophie is the worst, because she doesn’t know when to shut the f*uck up.

    Girl to girl, Sophie (& one who can actually write, btw): YOU F*UCKING SUCK.

  9. avatar
    thanksformakingmeabetterwriterdipshits 04/23/2013 16:31

    Jesus H Jones, I guess it makes sense you’re 25. People in their mid-20′s are like babies, except babies don’t have dumb opinions yet.

    I hope you guys pool tips at the Applebee’s you’re all posting out of during the cigarette breaks, or at least that faux (save yourself the google search that you never do, it means false) libido you’re always bragging about brings in some green from all your “older men”

    Otherwise, I have no idea how you’d make rent and bills with this drivel. Marry a guy with a yacht!

  10. avatar
    Daos 04/23/2013 18:33

    I agree Brendon had to go, the guy just flat out wasn’t doing his job anymore.

    That doesn’t mean you hire 5 random people to crank out loads of inane shit. You have to actually use some form of quality control. Otherwise you’re just flushing a decent revenue source down the drain.

  11. avatar
    blakemc82 04/23/2013 19:24

    The more I read Sophie, the more I think the writer is actually a guy trying to write as if he is the “cool”, “sexually free” girl but fails miserably at it. So save your gender bending writing skills for cat fishing guys on Plenty of Fish, we are too smart for that here.

  12. avatar
    PeteiusMeatius 04/23/2013 22:06

    I’m with Sophie on this one. I’m 51 and if I had the chance to bang anyone on this earth other than Stewart, it’d be true love.

  13. avatar
    Vegas Wrestling 04/23/2013 22:11

    Sophie, I agree. Younger women should look for the love and acceptance from an older man.

    We men in our 40′s have much to offer than younger men simply don’t, like jobs, cars, we don’t dress like douchebags and we’re really well insured.

    Oh, and we also better trained and are easier to please. But I’d take Victoria Justice over Kristen Stewart, but hey….

  14. avatar
    Ted'sCelebrityNewsEmporium 04/23/2013 23:26

    The puss from a zit on Brendon’s ass could write a funnier article than this hole.

  15. avatar
    Lindsay 04/24/2013 10:45

    Keep trying, Sophie. This one wasn’t your worst.

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