The Fat Scouts Introduce Video Game Badge

By Michael April 23, 2013 @ 2:06 PM

Both the Boy and Girl Scouts have instituted a new badge: video game design. That’s right. The kids spend hours playing video games and make notes about what they like and don’t like. Then they come up with a concept for their own game. The idea is that it’s going to encourage the kids to go into technology fields. It will probably just lead to a life of obesity and type-2 diabetes. Does playing video games really merit an achievement badge? They were probably going to spend all of their time playing anyway. Isn’t the whole point of scouting that they get the fuck off the couch and go outside to get some fresh air? And is coming up with your own video game idea really an achievement? How many times have you been high with your friends and thought up exciting new games? “Dude, what if Master Chief was in Legend of Zelda, but like the 8-bit version?”

I remember when you had to start a fire without matches, master canoeing, or stay up on a mountain for five days to get a badge. It’s one more way that we’re producing a generation of lazy pussies.

(7) Comments

  1. avatar
    Never Say Nevers Again 04/23/2013 14:11

    If only they gave out badges for lazy/unentertaining writing.

  2. avatar
    SilentMic 04/23/2013 14:25

    And that’s how you make yourself look really stupid to 95% of your -internet blog- readership.

  3. avatar
    Kraven Morehead 04/23/2013 15:18

    I imagine you don’t do much backpacking thru the wilderness or camping in the snow while you’re ass spreads in the chair you sit in all day. I bet most of the 12 & 13 year olds could hike you under the table. If you need something to criticize the boy scouts about, go after their stance on banning gays.

  4. avatar
    Shortshanks 04/23/2013 15:57

    Never Say Nevers Again…….

    …pithy…..have you considered applying for the open position they were posting last month??

  5. avatar
    Never Say Nevers Again 04/23/2013 21:19

    It seems I can’t make comments anymore.

  6. avatar
    Never Say Nevers Again 04/23/2013 21:25

    Oh, saints be praised!

    Thanks for the vote of confidence Shortshanks, however if I were to write for this site I’d first have to unlearn how to grammar, become hilariously unfunny and develop my writing skills to at least the level of John Travolta’s autistic son. The one that died.

  7. avatar
    PeteiusMeatius 04/23/2013 22:15

    Hahaha! Fat Scouts.. I can picture the bake sale on Sunday morning after a Saturday night Halo competition…

    Here’s your brownie bitch

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