The Fat Scouts Introduce Video Game Badge

April 24, 2013 | News | editor | 0 Comments

Both the Boy and Girl Scouts have instituted a new badge: video game design. That’s right. The kids spend hours playing video games and make notes about what they like and don’t like. Then they come up with a concept for their own game. The idea is that it’s going to encourage the kids to go into technology fields. It will probably just lead to a life of obesity and type-2 diabetes. Does playing video games really merit an achievement badge? They were probably going to spend all of their time playing anyway. Isn’t the whole point of scouting that they get the fuck off the couch and go outside to get some fresh air? And is coming up with your own video game idea really an achievement? How many times have you been high with your friends and thought up exciting new games? “Dude, what if Master Chief was in Legend of Zelda, but like the 8-bit version?”

I remember when you had to start a fire without matches, master canoeing, or stay up on a mountain for five days to get a badge. It’s one more way that we’re producing a generation of lazy pussies.