This Guy Wants To Become A Human Tampon (VIDEO)

In an online stunt that will probably make James Franco blind with jealous rage, a Florida man named “Pad Gardner” is currently trying to fulfill what he claims is his lifelong dream of becoming a human disposable feminine pad. According to his YouTube channel, Pad is looking for “more open-minded friends” who will help and support him in his goal to spend his nights “pressed against a soft vulva for a woman’s period”.

Next month, he’ll even walk across the country to promote awareness for women regarding toxic shock syndrome and tampons, while he continues to work toward his four New Year’s resolutions:

1. To get my legal first name changed to Pad.
2. To start preparing for life as a feminine pad.
3. To set a world record for having the largest pad collection.
4. To become a pink disposable feminine pad.

If this guy is for real, and this isn’t some terrible stunt by a film school reject who wants to shock and outrage people, then I hope that he finds a nice woman and accomplishes his goals. Because, let’s be real, this won’t even come close to being the worst story out of Florida this year.