Wesley Snipes Released Into The New Jack City

By Jack April 05, 2013 @ 1:15 PM

Nino Brown is a free man…well, sort of. You will recall that the To Wong Fu Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar star was put in jail in 2010 for not filing his tax returns. He’s been remanded to The New York Community Corrections Office who will keep Blade caged up at his house until July 19. I’m sure staying at his bomb ass home will be a huge punishment. That’s like when your mom sent you to your room where all your toys and Super Nintendo we’re (I’m old, OK!). While I’m glad that Wesley is out to star in more mostly mediocre action films, I can’t help but think about the bigger issue: Why the hell don’t celebrities know they have to pay taxes?

Willie Nelson, Pam Anderson, Nick Cage, and Lindsey Lohan (natch), have all gotten into the shit with the IRS. If there are any mutherfuckers in America you don’t want to mess with it’s the IRS. They make the CIA, FBI, and Kris Jenner look like candy stripers. I just paid my taxes and I don’t have shit. WWTDD mostly pays me in chicken nuggets and cheap vodka (and they’re fucking strict about the dipping sauce handouts). Is there no one around to tell these multimillionaires that they have to pay their taxes? It’s not like Snipes forgot to check the Railroad Pension box on his W2, he owed the IRS 17 MILLION dollars. Or is the problem that these pampered Hollywood ass goblins think they are too good to join the rest of us plebs in paying taxes? Probably.

wwtdd

(8) Comments

  1. mikelindereatsgroin 04/05/2013 13:44

    He didn’t pay his taxes out of protest for the tax laws. It was pretty big news, he did a lot of interviews stating that he felt that it was unconstitutional. Way to do your research. Next time you open your mouth, check google for 5 seconds, asshole.

  2. Daos 04/05/2013 13:52

    I feel like this could have been a funny article, but it was botched.

  3. Al Bundy 04/05/2013 14:48

    Wow, that post just went off the rail.

  4. labarmand 04/05/2013 15:11

    One paragraph too long Jack.

  5. woody 04/05/2013 15:25

    Jack, you miserable long winded moron. We’re is short for WE ARE. WERE (the word you were looking for) is the past tense of ARE. This is just like helping my 8 year old with his homework. Except he’s not stupid.

  6. Daos 04/05/2013 18:26

    It always feels like they’re trying to imitate Brendon, but lack the wit and humor to really make it work.

    It’s like.. all the pieces were in there…. but they just never end up coming together. Anyone else feel that way?

  7. Crimson 04/05/2013 21:58

    It really is impressive to be the worst writer on a site full of bad writers. Once again, thwarted by your inability to use google or be funny in any way.
    Heck at least there isn’t casual nationalism thrown into this one like in every other one of your long winded boring incorrect rambles.

  8. d-eagle 04/06/2013 20:47

    Terrible post but how does anyone with money like Snipes actually go to jail over taxes? Come on Blade, pay off those bitches. Also, how is Nic Cage not in jail? I’m assuming it’s cause Snipes left the country.

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