Angelina Jolie’s Non-Boobs Get Painted

Angelina Jolie and her boobless boobs were big news a couple of weeks ago as the whole world collectively acted as if something truly terrible had happened like a war, a plague, or Salt 2 went into production. Some people were shocked, some were angry, and many were inspired. Take for example weirdo Swedish painter Johan Andersson who decided to paint a portrait of Jolie post-surgery. She didn’t pose for it or anything, it’s just what he imagines her chest looks like. From what I can tell he spent a lot of time and effort visualizing her non-breasts. He said he did it because he thought it was brave and whatever and the proceeds go to help kids in the Congo. That is certainly nice, but, I’m pretty sure this herring eating, Abba/death metal-loving, ergonomic furniture-having Swede just has fantasies about women with mastectomies. In fact, I’d venture to guess he just painted Angelina’s face atop one of the many faceless mastectomy body portraits he keeps in his little red painted barn. You should order a print for the aunt you don’t like for her birthday.