Dennis Rodman: International Diplomat

Retired basketball player and all around toolbag Dennis Rodman has decided it’s time for him to do what no other American diplomat could do: arrange the release of American Kenneth Bae from North Korea. You’ll recall that Rodman visited North Korea recently and became BFFs with its insane leader Kim-Jong Un. Rodman is sure that he can do a better job than the president in freeing Bae.

“I’m gonna try and get the guy out, It’s gonna be difficult. We got a black president who can’t even go talk to [Jong-un …Obama can’t do shit, I don’t know why he won’t go talk to him.”

I’m not sure what Obama being Black has to do with anything. Does Rodman think that he can fool Un into thinking that he’s the president? North Korea is nuclear powder keg ruled by a family of lunatics. They violently oppress their people and starve them while living it up like emperors with stupid hair cuts. But Rodman defends Un and says he’s not such a bad guy. If there’s any justice, they’ll let Bae go and imprison Rodman or let the starving masses eat him and one of his stupid hats for dessert.