Don’t Go Gay Until You Call Lance

Jason Collins is the latest celebrity to call upon the gay wisdom of Lance Bass before coming out to the public. If you’re even thinking about switching teams, don’t make a move until you talk to Lance. Got cock on the mind — start dialing Lance right now! He’s come out, you know. He knows what it’s like. He has solid advice for you like, you can now tell Joey Fatone you didn’t really finger bang his little sister in the back of the bus, and, when Justin calls to lend his support, remind him that you were supposed to be doing this together. Also, Lance can get you on Kathy Griffin’s coffee klatch short list and a coming out speech punched up by Bruce Vilanch. Call now.