Guess What Gwyneth Paltrow Never Ever Says to Her Husband?

By Lex May 03, 2013 @ 6:17 PM

“I’m a very grounded, homey person and Chris is a very mad scientist, genius songwriter. So I never say, ‘Where are you? You should be home by now.’ I never place demands on him because I think he’s a really talented man and he’s putting something good into the world.” — Gweyneth Paltrow

Wow, that sounds like such a big fat lie from a lying liar who likes to lie a lot. Then again, Gwyneth Paltrow is not your average person. She’s better. Mirrors stretch just to catch her reflection. The soap bubbles actually sing to her in the shower. Babies, well, babies fucking hate her. But she’s still very special. Also, she’s obviously never heard Coldplay before.

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    The Mildly Tanned Knight 05/03/2013 18:26

    When did her tits get that nice?

  2. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 05/04/2013 22:47

    Did LEX misspell homely?

  3. avatar
    Shastar 05/05/2013 20:45

    I think he was using that in the “Special Ed” kind of way.

    And her tit’s have always been there, it’s just that they’ve been connected to an insufferable bitch that likes to hide them.

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