Justin Bieber Flees from Keyshawn Johnson

By Lex May 29, 2013 @ 1:24 PM

Keyshawn Johnson chased down a speeding Justin Bieber this weekend — and tried to confront the singer about his dangerous driving habits — but JB ran away like a scared little child … eyewitnesses tell TMZ.

Unlike most people, I don’t think Justin Bieber is more of a dick than your average 19-year old rich and famous primadonna dick. As a rule, these guys are always dicks. As would you be too if you were 19, had 50 mill in the bank, and dozens of hot girls and groupies surrounding you in your own bubble of self-awesomeness, weed, booze, and sex. You’d be zipping around in your dick Ferrari too because special privilege has brought out your inner asshole. You know who knows this? Keyshawn Johnson, because he was once 19 and a young football star surrounded by girls and groupies and agents and money telling him how awesome he was and he believed it too. His young autobiography was called Just Give Me the Damn Ball. But Keyshawn got grown up and now he’s got to teach Bieber a lesson. This is the circle of dick life. If Bieber survives the Keyshawn beat down and doesn’t choke to death on his own dick, someday he’ll be 40 and yelling at the punk kids to get their fucking skateboards off his sidewalk.

wwtdd

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    RangerLG 05/29/2013 15:05

    Well, in Bieber’s defense, he was being chased by a black guy.

  2. avatar
    LoK 05/29/2013 15:33

    in Keyshawn’s defense, he actually has talent
    (coming from a lifetime UCLA fan)

  3. avatar
    westicles 05/29/2013 15:55

    Oh Lex, your man crush on Bieber is so much fun to read…too bad you don’t write for Tiger Beat.

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