Somebody's Going to Vegas (And It's Not Farrah Abraham, She Doesn't Like Us)

Congratulations to some dude who calls himself Andrew. In the sea of entries of people with hardships so powerful I became too depressed to play my Scatchers, Andrew nailed the best reason why he deserves this killer trip to Vegas for Memorial Day Weekend.

Andrew, don't be a shmuck now and respond to your email. Otherwise, we do have a runner up. (Cue dramatic music!)