Zoe Saldana Isn’t Nude

By Lex May 14, 2013 @ 6:13 PM

Zoe Saldana Cover Shoot For June Issue Of Allure Magazine
The big press release I got said ‘Zoe Saldana is nude in this month’s Allure!’. Okay, it wasn’t a press release so much as FSI in Glamour that fell out when I was perusing an article about how to Ombre your own hair. It was for a friend. Fuck, I said too much. The point is, Zoe Saldana is not nude in the magazine. She has no clothes. She’s technically nude. But, again, I call upon Stripper Law to plainly state that when a neon light blinks ‘LIVE NUDE GIRLS’, you’re going to see both Hooties and the Blowfish. If they wheel a girl out and she’s twisted up into a PG-rated pretzel, at least the DJ is now dead. There ought to be about 20 terms in the English language that when intentionally misused in advertising result in the punishment of death. Strip show, nude girls, free fries…

Photo Credit: Allure Magazine


(11) Comments

  1. avatar
    Al Bundy 05/14/2013 19:38

    Why is a horribly unfunny writer named Lex not only allowed to write on this site, but be allowed to write more than 90% of the posts ???

  2. avatar
    ThisSiteIsGayPornography 05/14/2013 20:26

    I don’t really like Saldana, but I would enjoy releasing in her while cupping those small firm tits.

  3. avatar
    Goodnessgracious 05/14/2013 21:02

    Hooties and the Blowfish? Putting a tag for Allure Magazine on wwtdd? Why does this post even exist?

    Please, Lex, stop existing as a writer for this site.

  4. avatar
    Beppo 05/14/2013 21:59

    I’m still flaccid.

  5. avatar
    mertox 05/14/2013 22:34

    I think Lex needs to learn the difference between “nude” and “nekid.”

  6. avatar
    Mud Nugget 05/14/2013 23:03

    Why am I remembering Groucho Marxs right now?

  7. avatar
    woody 05/15/2013 01:40

    I just noticed the comments tab is gone. Do you retards realize that was the only good left about this site? Later f u c k heads …..

  8. avatar
    Shortshanks 05/15/2013 10:15

    If you can’t see cervix……she’s not really nude……

  9. avatar
    Beylerbey 05/15/2013 12:57

    Much ado about jack shit.

  10. avatar
    FNC 05/20/2013 09:01

    Wanna see more naked photos with Zoe Saldana?

  11. avatar
    suremed1 05/30/2013 12:40

    Do you have to have tattoos now to matter? The power of advertising is so amazing I feel like a smoke now oh sorry I thought this was the 1940′s. I like shiny objects.Tattoos are such pretty shiny objects. I wonder how many other people are easily hypnotized by pretty shiny object?

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