Amanda Bynes Nose Job Will Be Aired

Lobotomy candidate Amanda Bynes has decided to share her nose job surgery with the world. It’s like watching the tapes of Dr. Jekyll’s experiments in the lab. We’re going to be let in on a world of intensely disturbing self-mutilation. Which happens to be one of three compelling reasons for the existence of social media (finding old girlfriends and unfounded sports trade rumors being the other two).

In a not so surprising twist of crazy persons events, Amanda claims that her nose surgery to remove the slight webbing around her nose bridge makes her a real life hero:

I consider myself to be a hero to have suffered 27 years with a birth defect and to just now have it surgically removed

Amanda also believes that her tit job makes her a a professor and that the price of a gallon of milk is four harvested Chinese baby organs.