Of course I mean the doughy ginger on the right and not the other guy, who has built an empire out of tricking yokels into coughing up their money for a redneck routine that’s faker than Courtney Stodden’s tits. That guy on the right is singer Ed Sheeran, and if Us Weekly is telling the truth, he’s currently dating Selena Gomez after her 10 millionth split from delicate French prostitute Justin Bieber.
Us claims that Ed and Selena met through their mutual friend Taylor Swift, who also reportedly dated Sheeran during their current tour. If that’s true, it’s only a matter of time before Taylor writes an entire album about jealousy and betrayal, and maybe even falling into a rock crusher. She probably doesn’t have any experience in that last one, but it doesn’t mean we can’t encourage her to try it.
(Photo Credit: Getty)