The Palins And The Rivers To Fuck Up Each Other’s Kids on ABC

Bristol Palin and her bitchy little sister Willow are switching homes with Joan Rivers and Melissa Rivers on the season premiere of Celebrity Wife Swap, you know, despite the fact none of these four women are actually wives. They’re going to take care of each other’s offspring for a week. How does child protective services not get involved in this shit? These abandoned traumatized kids in the public spotlight now have to have a new dysfunctional mommy come and run them for a week? You don’t think being Bristol Palin’s kid is hard enough? Now you’ve got Joan Rivers sticking her sandy dry thrice stitched up tit in your mouth when you’re crying out in the night because it’s dawning on you that you’re a Palin. Kids choosing to meat cleaver their wrists at age 15 doesn’t start at age 15. It starts on June 23 on ABC.