Amanda Bynes Parents Want to Raise Her, Again

By Lex July 29, 2013 @ 4:15 PM


I know sometimes crazy just comes out of the blue, but that’s the exception. Crazy usually runs in families. You get it from your folks, just like double jointedness, only with a lot more fires and head shavings. But, never count out stage parents, who are back in the game filing for a Britney-like conservatorship over their daughter Amanda Bynes. Just because Amanda is locked down in the looney bin for another couple weeks doesn’t mean her folks will automatically get their order. A judge has to look Amanda in the eyes and see if she’s just mildly crazy or shopping mall shooting crazy. For the most part, if you’re the former, you get left to wander the earth freely in the stench of your own excrement. Amanda hasn’t killed anybody yet, just called lots of people ugly. Which I know still hurts, but it’s not treated the same under the law.

(By the way, I fucked up last week when I said Amanda was underneath a blanket being wheeled out of her psychiatric hold. That was Amanda, she was being wheeled around, but they didn’t let her crazy ass back on the streets yet.)

wwtdd

(1) Comment

  1. avatar
    Beylerbey 07/29/2013 16:49

    I wish I could afford the wander the earth. Apparently you need cash on hand to wander.

    Oh, and thanks for swearing in the article while preventing us from doing the same in the comments, fvckheads.

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