Fuck, No, America, Mexico Got Fatter Than Us

By Lex July 10, 2013 @ 3:07 PM

It’s true. Mexico officially passed the U.S. on the adult obesity chart. If you don’t believe me, just look at that picture above of some random fat Mexican women. I’d say it’s indisputable. How great at being super fat has Mexico become? They’ve quadrupled their obese hombres and señoras rate in the past twenty-five years. Their diabetic death numbers are now surpassing their deaths from drug cartel murders. That’s like saying you threw for more career yards than Dan Marino. Fatness is now their Brett Favre. We’re being passed in this world in yet another measuring stick of success and nobody seems to give a damn. Well, Mississippi still cares. Their obesity rate is still higher than Mexico. But unless they can convince the rest of America to have a thick slice of mud pie for linner (that’s the meal between lunch and dinner), we’re never seeing fat gold again.

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    miche the killer 07/10/2013 15:55

    See, Khloe Kardashian, look what you’ve done. Put back on that last 5 lbs. so we can be on top again.

  2. avatar
    miche the killer 07/10/2013 16:00

    I used to teach at a grade school with a bunch of Mexican kids. The little ball shaped ones did that fat person stance, where the tops of their legs touched before the bottoms curved out into a v-shape with the toes pointed out b/c they need a more stable base. They got winded standing in line for the lunch lady to put nacho cheese and hot sauce on their Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, or Takis, and their gas smelled like the internal rot of 1000 corpses. So, if we keep our immigration options open, we may be back to #1 soon.

  3. avatar
    RickyG 07/10/2013 16:06

    Headline, needs, more, commas.

  4. avatar
    Doo Doo Fresh 07/10/2013 16:16

    I think the one in the middle is Kirstie Alley.

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