I Can’t Help But Feel That Brazil Isn’t Ready for the Soccer World Stage

There’s a reason all those hot supermodels flee Brazil as soon as they are old enough to have sex with important photographers. So, like 13-14. And the same reason most of the top soccer players head over to Europe not many years into their teens. Brazil is a hotbed of talent. So hot, you can’t wait to get the fuck out of it. Now the whole world is headed there for the World Cup in 2014 and the Olympics in 2016. But are they really ready? Meh, I’m not so sure. Following up on riots that swept the country when everybody found out just how much money everybody is stealing around these games, a referee (pictured above) in a soccer match in Northeast Brazil got lynched, drawn and quartered, beheaded, and his head placed on a stick on the middle of the soccer field. To be fair, he did have it coming as he had just previously stabbed to death one of the team players who had punched him following an argument over a call. Just like Billy Martin used to kick dirt on MLB umpires so they would stab him to death then Yankees fans would rush onto the field and pull the umpires apart by their limbs and mount their heads in Monument Park adjacent to the stadium. Actually, Yankees fans probably would do that. At least if they lived in Brazil and they could get away with it.

If you’re a sick fuck like me, you can see doctors pointlessly reassembling the referees body HERE. It’s gruesome, so don’t go watch it then complain it’s gruesome. Or I’ll stab you to death.