Riders are those addendums to standard performance contracts where divas get to list all the special shit you have to give them backstage to get them to come perform at your place. Legendary things like baths filled with Evian water and M&Ms sorted by color and lots and lots of cocaine and hookers. That last one seems to be the most popular. Over the weekend a copy of a rider supposedly drawn up for a Justin Bieber photoshoot appeared on E! Online and contained some noteworthy line items. Like, nobody was allowed to play Selena Gomez music at the event. And nobody in the crew would be allowed to talk to ‘talent’. Also, the venue had to provide several pairs of XS sized gym socks. A rep for Bieber immediately came out and called the document a fake. So, I guess it must be, Mr. Impartial Witness? I feel like we could use a little more investigation. Let’s start with whether or not Justin’s puckish feet fit into baby socks. Crank up some Selena music and see if he cries. Then punch him in the face so hard he spins out of control in his metal wings. That last part might be out of order, but clearly the most fun.
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