Germans Don’t Have to Be Boys or Girls Any Longer

The Germans are simply hard to peg. Just when you think they’re settled in their traditions of bratwurst and lederhosen and occasional bouts with ethnic genocide, they come along and announce that parents can now legally declare their kids neither a boy or a girl on birth certificates. They can choose ‘blank’ for kids whose nads are tough to figure at birth and might end up going either way when they get older. I can’t imagine there’s any stigma to being born with a penis so tiny that your parents label you legally as a ‘blank’. That can’t possibly fuck you up for the rest of your life, not when you already look like Tilda Swinton and you’re getting your ass kicked in school no matter which bathroom you choose. C’mon, Germany, you can produce panzers like nobody’s business, but you’re just not very good at this socially progressive shit.