Justin Bieber Busted For Driving Without A License, Being A Dick

August 29, 2013 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

Lesbian Fraggle Justin Bieber was busted this morning for driving like an asshole in his Calabasas neighborhood. See, due to previous incidences of him driving like a dick and the fact that, oh I don’t know, he doesn’t have a valid California driver’s license, he isn’t supposed to be driving at all. For once Biebs apparently cooperated with the cops who fined him for driving without a license and running a stop sign. Bieber really is in no way trying to fit in in the rich gated community of Calabasas. What with him driving like a dick weasel, spitting on neighbors, and generally acting like a cock monkey. I wish the penalty for driving without a license and being Justin Bieber were harsher than a fine. Like crucifixion or being deported back to Canada. But not the part of Canada where people actually live or they have hockey teams. The fucking tundra up north where he’ll be impaled by a narwhal or raped to death by a polar bear. Too much? Not even close.

Tags: justin bieber