Kelly Brook’s Man Cheats On Her, There’s a Lesson Here Somewhere

August 8, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Professional male athletes are as stupid and horny as the rest of guys, they just have an easier time finding the girls to be stupid and horny with. Danny Cipriani plays rugby, which I’m told is a real sport in England, and he was really boning model Kelly Brook and they were engaged or some other celebrity term for married. But Danny just couldn’t be content with knocking around with a big-titted hot model, he had to go Carlos Danger and have a half-dozen girls with naked pictures sending him messages to his secret cell phone. Kelly found the phone (because women always find the fucking phone) and quickly dialed up the women using that stupid British ring tone and chewed them a new arsehole. She told them they were all just empty holes to Danny and they “were all slags and some were motherly’. You can guess what ‘slag’ means, and by ‘motherly’, she did not mean sweet and nurturing.

The lesson here is that men who can get lots of women will get lots of women. I think that’s actually an axiom or something. It’s the same reason chefs are fat and narcs are dirty. The temptation plus access equation has never been cracked throughout human history. You want a boyfriend who every girl wants to bang? Go for it. Just lay off the revenge phone calls when the inevitable occurs. And, please, don’t tell me how your dad was super handsome and he never cheated on your mom. He did.

Tags: kelly brook