Lauren Silverman Spread Her Way to Some Serious Cash

Lauren Silverman isn’t dumb. She wanted to start knocking around with a dude not her reasonably rich husband, so she found a super rich dude in Simon Cowell, just in case she got pregnant by urging her lover to repeatedly bareback her. Now, Simon’s on the hook for a $20,000 a month Manhattan apartment for Lauren and her seven-year old son, fixing up one of his Beverly Hills mansions for her post-birth relocation, and regularly visiting a Santeria temple to slice his right palm in a blood prayer for a miscarriage.

As if that wasn’t enough, Simon had to meet face to face with the guy he pretended was his friend so he could bang his wife, Andrew Silverman, for a hashing out of the terms at a small Long Island Airport. It was like a Yalta for cheaters and cuckolds. Eyewitnesses report the two men seemed very calm and cool and even amicable, as they discussed what sure must be Mark’s cut in this entire nasty affair. Mark probably mostly laughed as he imitated his wife’s voice pleading, ‘we don’t need a condom, Simon, I can’t get pregnant’ then chided Simon about the $50 million or so that’ll end up costing him. It’s great how men can bond over anything.

Photo Credit: INFphoto.com