Taylor Swift Only Dates So She Can Write Shitty Songs for Money

By Jack August 06, 2013 @ 4:40 PM

Taylor Swift admitted what we’ve long suspected that she only dates the guys she dates in order to write shitty songs about the break-up. Jake Gyllenhaal, Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, and countless others have all been the subjects of Taylor Swift’s girl anthems about how boys are gross. For example, We’re Never Getting Back Together was about her relationship with Brokeback Gyllenhaal. That was a huge hit for her and got her redonkulous amounts of money. Like, Scrooge McDuck swim around in piles of gold money. So, why does she keep dating these Hollywood jerks? As she explained to Rolling Stone,

“I am getting to a point where the only love worth being in is the love worth singing about. And kind of mad love…I think that for me, when you experience something that’s worth writing a song about, chances are it’s the same kind of intense feeling that someone else has felt, and it has led them to be sitting on a bedroom floor crying, or walking through a crowded room feeling alone or feeling misunderstood by the person who’s supposed to know them better than anybody else.”

So, let that be a warning to every D-bag in Hollywood. If you stick your dick anywhere near Taylor Swift, you will have an angry song written about you. She’s just using you to sell albums and you’re not going to get a cut, let alone any trim. Besides, she looks like a big-toothed scarecrow. You can do better.

wwtdd

(1) Comment

  1. avatar
    Admiral 08/06/2013 18:37

    I’d date her. I’m used to dating crazy, uncompromising women. The trick is to be really nice to them, but at the same time treat them like they’re stupid.

You must be to post a comment.